Thought 61

I still think about you, but not as much as I did  before and with a lighter load pulling at my heart now, and I am proud of myself for that and thankful to God because I could have never seen past you if it were not for him opening up my eyes and keeping my heart safe from my ribs piercing at it, so it could heal.

I realize I am not the only one to have felt this way and unfortunately I’m sure I’m not the last. I cried man did I cry, mostly because of you and sometimes only because crying was the only thing I could do, the only way my lungs could grasp in the air that they longed to taste. Through the feeble tries of inhaling, I could feel my heart shatter within my chest it’s never been this way before.

So now I have to be okay with not being okay; to be okay letting our memories die one after another as you’ve drowned them in my blood. Like broken glass I fear my once shattered heart will never be the same again. I still don’t know if I will ever be ready to let myself fall as deep as I did for you. I hope that doesn’t turn out to be true.

So the only thing left for me is to build the body you burnt to ashes, to learn how to breath steady again,to breath again. For though you pushed me to fall for you in this darkness, with my bones I’ll light the way and arise.

 

 

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